Parenting is difficult. Sometimes it even seems impossible, especially given the other daily stresses we juggle like work, paying bills, preparing meals and making sure homework is handled. We have all been there in trying to make it through a day. And we have all been on the edge of “caving” or giving in. At that moment, it is an instant reward for us. It is also an instant reward to the child. For example, your child is crying or throwing a tantrum to get something he/she wants (like candy at the grocery store checkout line), or whining/crying to maintain access to something that he/she likes (like an iPad). We want the negative behavior to stop, right? So we cave to the child to stop the crying. It worked! Your child stops crying and throwing a tantrum! Now we need to talk about what is really happening here. Let’s unpack it and do the analysis. You should first know that there is a science that explains why people do the things they do. It is called Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). We can use this science to guide keiki (and adults) to behave in a particular manner. by Amy Smith Wiech, Ph.D, BCBA-D, LBA 74 HAWAII PARENT March/April 2024
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