118 HAWAII PARENT July/August 2024 the opportunity to improve. Help kids reformulate strategies and evaluate what skills can be improved in practice. Have your kids set individual goals that are outside of winning, such as placing a personal record. If your child is a big sports fan, it can be helpful to talk about great sports figures who have experienced big losses in their careers, and how they have bounced back and gone on to win again. VALUE GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP Remind your kids that while it’s okay to want to win, winning isn’t everything. Encourage your kids to play by the rules of the game, and to respect their opponents. Instead of sulking after a loss, insist your child always says “congratulations” to the competition. Displaying good sportsmanship isn’t always easy, and it can be tough for kids to shake hands after a close game, so make sure that you are modeling good sportsmanship by behaving courteously to the parents of your child’s opponents at sporting events. You can also point out good examples of sportsmanship in professional sports if you’re watching a game or match together, and talk about why they are good examples of appropriate sports behavior. MANAGE YOUR OWN EMOTIONS Sometimes, especially when kids are a little older and play on sports teams, it can be hard for parents not to get emotionally GIVE POSITIVE FEEDBACK After a hard loss, make sure you offer your kids words of encouragement and not just criticism. Find something that your child did well during a game and compliment them on it. This will improve their confidence, and encourage them to continue to persevere towards their goals. Daniel Johnson, Boys Track and Field Coach at Mililani High School says, “It comes down to positive reinforcement... Some kids take a loss to heart. You have to be there to let them know what they did well and encourage them that they are on the right path for improvement.” Make sure that winning isn’t the only goal that your kids have, so highlight the importance of practice. Improving their skills and getting better at a game is just as important as winning, and will lead to more wins in the future. ENCOURAGE PERSEVERANCE Many children will give up when they sense they are about to lose. They will stop giving a game their best effort because they want to avoid the frustration and disappointment of a loss. Encourage your child to stick with games until the end, and to give their all no matter what the scoreboard says. After losing, especially if it’s outside of the home in the form of an important sports game, your child may find it difficult to regain their confidence and keep working hard. Reframe the losses as an important part of the game, and emphasize After a hard loss, make sure you offer your kids words of encouragement and not just criticism. “Learning to lose and to bounce back from a loss are essential life skills.”
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